|
|
Guidelines For Using
Time Out With Children and Preteens
By Robert
Myers, PhD (2000)
 Purpose of Time Out
Time-out means time out from positive
reinforcement (rewarding experiences). It is
a procedure used to decrease undesirable
behaviour. The main aim of this
procedure is to ensure that the individual
in time-out is not able to receive any
reinforcement for a particular period of
time.
Time Out Area
The time-out area should be easily
accessible, and in such a location that the
child can be easily monitored while in
time-out. For example, if most activity
takes place on the first floor of the house,
the time-out area should not be on an upper
floor. A chair in the corner of the dining
room is an excellent spot. Placing a kitchen
timer on the table is a good way to keep the
child informed of how much time he has left
to serve.
Amount of Time Spent in Time Out
Generally, it is considered more
effective to have short periods of time-out,
5 to 10 minutes, rather than to have long
periods, such as half an hour to an hour.
Children can fairly quickly begin to use
their imagination to turn a boring activity
into an interesting one. Children from 2 - 5
years old should receive a 2 to 5 minute
time-out. A 6 year old child should probably
receive about a 5 minute time-out while a 10
year old child would receive a 10 minute
time-out. A general guideline can be: 6-8
years of age, 5 minutes; 8-10 years of age,
10 minutes; 10-14 years of age, 10 to 20
minutes. Some double the time-out period for
such offences as hitting, severe temper
tantrums, and destruction of property.
(Note: ADHD children may benefit from
shorter times than those suggested above).
Specifying Target Behaviours
It is very important the child be aware
of the behaviours that are targeted for
reduction. They should be very concretely
defined: for example, hitting means striking
someone else’s with the hand or an object,
or coming home late means arriving home any
time after 5:00 p.m.
Procedures for Time Out
When a child is told to go into time-out, a
parent should only say, "Time-out for...."
and state the particular offence. There
should be no further discussion.
Use a kitchen timer with a bell. Set the
timer for the length of the time-out and
tell the child he must stay in time-out
until the bell rings.
While in time-out, the child should not be
permitted to talk, and the parent should not
communicate with the child in any way. The
child also should not make noises in any
way, such as mumbling or grumbling. He or
she should not be allowed to play with any
toy, to listen to the radio or stereo, watch
television, or bang on the furniture. Any
violation of time-out should result in
automatic resetting of the clock for another
time-out period.
It is important that all members of the
household be acquainted with the regulations
for time-out, so that they will not
interfere with the child in time-out in any
way, for example, by turning on the radio.
Strategies for Handling Refusal or
Resistance
While time-out works well, it can only work
when the child actually serves the time out.
There are a number of ways to handle
refusal. None of them will work of all
children. You may have to experiment to
determine which one will work for your
child.
Tell younger children that you will count to
three and if they are not in time-out when
you get to three the time-out will be
doubled.
Very difficult children, such as those with
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or
Oppositional Defiant Disorder, may need to
be placed on a short reward program. This
could include a chart with 20 to 30 squares.
Each time a child does a time-out, the child
gets a star or sticker on the chart. When
the chart is full they can earn a special
treat for learning how to do time-out.
Use response cost. Select an activity or
object you can take away. Tell the child
that until they do the time-out, they will
not be able to use the object or engage in
the activity. For instance, you can remove
the cord from the TV and tell them that they
may not watch TV or play a video game until
they do the time-out.
Alternatives to Time Out
Children 10 and over may decide they are
"too big" for time-out because "it is for
babies." Here are some other negative
consequences that have been successful in
reducing inappropriate behaviour.
Tell the child that each time he displays
the inappropriate behaviour, he will have to
write sentences to remind him of how he
should behave. For instance, every time you
talk back you will have to write, " I will
talk nicely and show respect to my parents."
The first time this happens on a given day
the sentence is written 5 times. If this
does not help them remember then the next
time the sentence is written 10 times. The
number is increased by 5 or doubled
(depending on the age of the child) each
time the behaviour occurs on that day. The
next day the first occurrence receives 5
sentences.
Remove privileges or objects that you can
control. Make a list of privileges or
objects (TV, ride bike, stay up late, go
outside and play, etc.). Tell the child that
each time the undesirable behaviour occurs,
one item will be crossed of the list for
that day. Each day the procedure starts
over.
Advantages of Time Out
-
It is less aversive than other
procedures, such as physical punishment.
-
It eliminates a lot of yelling and
screaming on the part of the parents.
-
It increases the probability that
parents are going to be consistent about
what is going to be punished, when and
how.
-
The child learns to accept his own
responsibility for undesirable behaviour.
The parents are not punishing the child;
rather the child is punishing himself.
The child should be repeatedly told that
the parents did not put him or her in
time-out but that the child put himself
in time-out.
-
The child more readily learns to
discriminate which behaviours are
acceptable and which are unacceptable.
-
The child begins to learn more
self-control.
-
By keeping a written record of time-outs
parents can see if the procedure is
reducing the targeted behaviour. Also,
reward can be tied to only receiving a
certain amount of time-outs in a day or
a smaller time period.
Guidelines For Parental Discipline
-
Never disagree about discipline in front
of the children.
-
Never give an order, request, or command
without being able to enforce it at the
time.
-
Be consistent, that is, reward or punish
the same behaviour in the same manner as
much as possible.
-
Agree on what behaviour is desirable and
not desirable.
-
Agree on how to respond to undesirable
behaviour.
-
Make it as clear as possible what the
child is to expect if he or she performs
the undesirable behaviour.
-
Make it very clear what the undesirable
behaviour is. It is not enough to say,
"Your room is messy." Messy should be
specified in terms of exactly what is
meant: "You’ve left dirty clothes on the
floor, dirty plates on your desk, and
your bed is not made."
-
Once you have stated your position and
the child attacks that position, do not
keep defending yourself. Just restate
the position once more and then stop
responding to the attacks.
-
Remember that your behaviour serves as a
model for your children’s behaviour.
-
If one of you is disciplining a child
and the other enters the room, that
other person should not step in on the
argument in progress.
-
Reward desirable behaviour as much as
possible by verbal praise, touch or
something tangible such as a toy, food
or money.
-
Both of you should have an equal share
in the responsibility of discipline as
much as possible.
The "3 Fs" of Positive Parenting
Discipline should be:
-
Firm: Consequences should be clearly
stated and then adhered to when the
inappropriate behaviour occurs.
-
Fair: The punishment should fit the
crime. Also in the case of recurring
behaviour, consequences should be stated
in advance so the child knows what to
expect. Harsh punishment is not
necessary. Using a simple Time Out can
be effective when it is used
consistently every time the behaviour
occurs. Also, use of reward for a period
of time like part of a day or a whole
day when no Time Outs or maybe only one
Time Out is received.
-
Friendly: Use a friendly but firm
communication style when letting a child
know they have behaved inappropriately
and let them know they will receive the
"agreed upon" consequence. Encourage
them to try to remember what they should
do instead to avoid future consequences.
Work at "catching them being good" and
praise them for appropriate behaviour.
|
|
