Bullying in schools is a problem that is at last
receiving the attention it rightly deserves. Schools are a
microcosm for society as a whole. The division of power
in a school is divided into those with it and those
without. Now, there is benevolent power, the kind we
hope our leaders have and use, and then there is the
distorted kind that takes advantage of those less
powerful. Power imbalances of this kind flourish in
societal systems that favour the strong over the weak,
the popular over the less popular and the advantaged
over the disadvantaged. Bullying in schools continues to
happen because of this. The popular jocks and sporty
types lord it over the more introverted, less high
profile regular kids that are guilty of nothing more
than being their unassuming selves.
Teachers have a hard time diagnosing the underlying
issues behind bullying in schools because the
perpetrators are often successful, popular and master
manipulators. Victims, on the other hand, are normally
passive and insecure with few friends or supporters.
Bullying in schools flourishes especially well in
environments where negative reinforcement is used to
regulate antisocial behaviour. In these situations both
the perpetrator and the victim are usually punished
without any investigation of the causes. Pushing someone
around to show them that pushing someone around is
undesirable is a guaranteed recipe for failure. In
particularly bad cases the perpetrator is indulged while
the victim is punished for standing up for himself.
Good schools will be aware of the vital role they play
in creating a positive environment where socially
unacceptable behaviour is quickly but not punitively
dealt with. The emphasis in these schools will be on
guidance for both the bully and the victim. The bully
will be taught that the behaviour he exhibits will not,
under any circumstances, be tolerated. He will be guided
in how to moderate his aggression and behave in a more
socially acceptable way. Bullying in schools is best
handled in a two-pronged way. It is not enough to focus
on the perpetrator; the victim will also need
instruction on assertion and issues of confidence.
Realistically many schools simply do not have the time
and staff to operate in this way so if your child is or
has been a victim of bullying it may be time to consider
changing to another school environment altogether. Some
schools are particularly geared towards the support of
positive behaviours in their students. It is an important
focus of an enlightened, more holistic attitude to
education as a whole. These schools go to great lengths
to inculcate social values that preserve each person's
right to be themselves.
Bullying in these schools is understandably reduced to a
minimum and when it appears it is quickly attended to.
Traditional schools come from a more old-school approach
where bullying in schools is still considered par for
the course. In these institutions the aggressive
dynamics are regarded somewhat philosophically as a part
of kids being kids. This view is remarkably short
sighted given the statistics on bullies at school
growing up to be bullies in the boardroom and bullies at
home.
What can we parents do if our child is bullied? Well,
even if our child is not bullied, we need to put
pressure on schools to create an environment that is
mutually beneficial for all students, the strong and the
weak, big and small, the advantaged and the
disadvantaged. We need to care what experience our child
is having at school regarding the all-important tenets
of justice and the wise use of power.
Bullying in schools would not exist if the country's
constitution was taken seriously and each precious child
respected for who and what they are. Bullying cannot
develop in schools that place a high priority on honor,
justice and respect. Wherever it raises its ugly head it
would be swiftly dealt with. Bullies would quickly learn
through social sanctions what behaviour was acceptable
and what was not. Like all societal problems bullying in
schools has its causes deep down in the collective
psyche. As little as 2% of the population have serious
personality disorders. The rest of society's bullies
were, more often than not, victims themselves.
Parents cannot be overly aware of their roles as models
for their children. Aggressive parental behaviour in the
home translates into bullying behaviour in school. It's
all about balance. Those personalities that are
dominating need guidance on the moderation of that
power. Parents of teens who are timid and submissive
need to teach them through example and communication how
to claim their power and be assertive. Most bullies are
reduced to helplessness when confronted with genuine
opposition.
Gail Walter ,
Boulder, Colorado, from parentingteens.
Parenting teenagers
Other
articles in this series
Parenting Teenagers
How to keep kids safe online
Helping teens succeed academically
Home Schooling Teens
Drugs in
Schools
Dealing with falling
marks
Truancy in Teenagers
Bullying in schools
Overweight Children
